lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
