Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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