You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
