I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
