I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
