Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
