omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
