using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize