32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
