Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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