I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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