I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
