watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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