look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
