I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
