please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
