I love black thongs
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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