He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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