Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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