omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
