Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
