that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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