sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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