if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
