so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
