there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
