well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
