I accidentally had phone sex last night
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
