We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We got so high we made milksteak
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Randomize
