and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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