well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize