We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just had sex bonerless
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
