Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
