Ambien. No doubt about it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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