I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
