Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize