I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
