i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
