8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
