scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize