Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
