walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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