So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize