Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
