do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize