I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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