my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
