She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
