he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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