remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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