Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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