How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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