Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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