seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
