I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize