Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
