woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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