it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
