there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
