He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
