The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
