puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
