I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
