i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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