there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
